ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We got so high we made milksteak
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
