Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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