Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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