We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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