If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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