Girls should come with a carfax report
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize