Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
