dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Someone signed my nipple.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
