11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
