These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
