made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize