I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
