He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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