Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
