Your face is a jimmy john
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
