Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize