so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
