she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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