Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
