Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
