Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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