I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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