help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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