look no pants
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
