I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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