I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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