I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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