I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize