I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize