Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize