I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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