And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
