His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize