I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you had me at cake vodka
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
