strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
