Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
