I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
