i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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