We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
