I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also, beer. Big fan.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
