Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Houston, we have a squirter
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
