return my video game
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You made out with two different species that night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
