I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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