nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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