i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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