Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
