Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
