Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
