I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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