she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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