In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
