Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
smell my finger.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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