I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How drunk are you?
Completed.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
