I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
